i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
how drunk are you?
Several
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize