I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
