she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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