you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
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My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
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Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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