come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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