dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
