i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
