Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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