we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
