Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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