i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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