Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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