I think i sorta joined a cult last night
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize
