Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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