Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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