People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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