Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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