I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
