I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
