That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
