but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
