WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
