Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My vagina is very pro this idea
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
