My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
