He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
