Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
