Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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