I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
