You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The air was thick with penises
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
