how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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