Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
