so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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