My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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