yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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