I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
