but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
