I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
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He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
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i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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