id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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