He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize