haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
