I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
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Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize