I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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