Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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