On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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