You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
