Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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