Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize