Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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