Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
