the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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