I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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