Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
