I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
