Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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