Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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