does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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