Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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